I bet he comes in French.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
