i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We're too hungover to prance.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
