I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
