PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I have demons in me.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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