Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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