Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
