Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
