When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
