why didn't you poke me back
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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