I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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