You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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