:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
