Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She bit a glass in half.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
