it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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