help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
