she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
