so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
