Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
