Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
