If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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