I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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