Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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