It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
