I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
