I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
