i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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