i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
