You just made me feel so damn special
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
