I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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