i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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