I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
