my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
