the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
