"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
