get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
