U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
