everyone is single if you try hard enough
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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