Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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