Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
So squirting runs in the family.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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