And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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