I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
