You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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