Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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