Is it normal to miss your booty call?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
