u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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