Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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