I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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