We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
