I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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