I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
...so i touched it.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
