Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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